Latest Budget Airline

Booked your seat on a LCC (Low Cost Carrier). Here is a preview of what you will be getting.


Subject: Latest Budget Airline

Introducing the latest new budget airline to help you cut cost whenoverheads are high and you have to lay off your employees in a nicegentle way without breaking anyone's heart ...... AIR CHIN CHYE. What you may get when u fly cheap airlines .... pleasemake your bookings early to avoid disappointment.

"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain ( Mr ChinChye Lai ) welcoming you on board ... I do apologise if I cannot see youas I can see nothing from my cockit anyway, light's not working.... We apologise for the delay in taking off, some minor problem, justreplaced the engine, new engine cannibalised from the aircraft that decided totake a swim in the south china sea... This is flight 126 from Senaisini toNew Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end upsomewhere in the region. And if luck is on our side, we may even be landing on yourvillage! Standards are such that even the terrorists are afraid tofly with us!

It is with pleasure that I announce that starting this year, over 50 ofour passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don'tquite make it, our staff have all the requisite experience for consoling thenext-of-kin. Our stewardess Ms See Sua Lai , will be glad to brief you onout-of-court settlement policies.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we canarrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant andmemorable, we serve complimentary samosas and lassi. For our not-so-religiouspassengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if therereally is a God.

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie "Hands off mychutney" will not be shown, as we forgot to record it from thetelevision. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying alongsideSingapore Airlines, where their movie will be visible from the rightside of the cabin window.

We regret to advise that smoking is prohibited on this flight. Anysmoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the enginestelling us to slow down. Life jackets are positioned under your seatsand free bathing costumes are made available to the Aunties and swimmingshortsto the Uncles...it is likely that you will need them later.

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take offand fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindlyfasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. For those of you whodon't have a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with our stewardess,Maggie, who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase, otherwisesuka lu lah....

If I don't see you again, enjoy your flight with AIR CHIN CHYE. Thank you!